Sunday, January 1, 2012

The Year Gone by...The Year Ahead.



I am sitting here, smoking a dark Dominican cigar, not an expensive one...but decent. I am drinking instant coffee..no sugar...very strong. The lights in the room are dim, a TV is on somewhere in the house. My headphones are on..and I am listening to the Eagle's. This is the scene of my reflections on the Year Gone by, and the Year Ahead.

2011 was an instrumental year of a five year plan that began in 2008. 2008 is the year that I began to question many things in my life, chief among those was the direction my country had taken. The inspection of my country led to the introspection of my life in general. Inspections and introspection can be a dangerous thing...I do not suggest it unless you are prepared to see what was hidden...and act based on what you find.

What I found out about my life...was almost crippling. Someone else was dictating what I did, who I did it with. I was not my own man, but the pawn of someone else who took advantage of me...on an emotional level. Emotions are not something I express, or for that matter paid much attention to. I learned an important lesson about life...one that I will never forget. With the blinders off, I set about to recreate my life and its direction. A daunting task...and one that brought me to the brink of personal disaster. Luckily, the truest of people were there to help me...and my God was there to guide me. Which brings me to 2011. The year of the greatest changes, and a path to the peace that I hope everyone can enjoy one day.

On a professional level I have moved up a notch toward my final goal of professional peace. I enjoyed...yes enjoyed...some spectacular failures. Failure is something to praise, not be fearful of. Some people get all crazy when they fail, but to fail means you are still in the game. Giving up is not an option. At present I have a job that is well suited for where I am now. Because of the nature of the job, and the possible problems disclosing it could cause...I will just say..I am closer to where I want to be than I had planned on.

My personal life has been a very mind expanding experience. At the time I was living with the most incredible person I have ever met. I thought I knew what love was...but quickly realized I had no idea about it. That is where Gina has become my mentor, and an example of the complexity of love. We have had some incredible discussions on the subject...and though we disagree about some aspects of love...we do so in a loving way. My lifestyle as a result has taken a turn toward what I have always wanted it to be...simple pleasures..and simple love. I am free..in a way that I find hard to express...but I will try.

Gina...what you have done is nothing short of a miracle. I came into this relationship with my guard up. Nothing would ever own me again was my pledge. But you...somehow have managed to steal my heart...but that is OK with me. This time I feel that it is in good hands. Your strength is immeasurable, your love is not exactly patient, but it is relentless. I know when I get home I will see those eyes of love...and understanding...eyes I have never seen before.

Though your first husband left this world unexpectedly, I am touched by the way you honor his life, and know that I will be honored as well. I listen to your stories about him and your life with him, and it makes me proud to say that I am in the presence of such a person as you..and that I am now one of two that has known your boundless ability to love.

When we are out together I have heard others speak of your beauty...they are only seeing the outside, your true beauty lies within..and in this last year you have filled me with beauty. That is why I am happier than I can express that you are now my wife...we sail this sea of life together.

To the reader...this is a poor example of how I feel about my personal life over the last year...but it is as personal as I will probably ever be with someone I barely know.

My political life has been rather quiet...a post here and there...a phone call to representatives..or an email or two. That will be changing. I have taken a sabbatical of sorts in 2011, but I have been writing and will post those articles throughout 2012 as I press to change the destructive course our Government has set for us. It is not all Obama's fault...but he and his ilk are certainly to blame. So if you are a staunch Republican or Democrat...but fail to understand the problems or offer Constitutional solutions...you are in this Pirate's sights.

In closing I leave you with a military axiom...when surrounded or ambushed...Attack with extreme violence...you have nothing to lose in trying...but you will lose everything by hesitating.  

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